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If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong. --Mo Udall

Admit constraints: then, having admitted, fill with discovery. -- Anthony Froshaug

Project Management is like dating - you smile a lot, you pretend to enjoy yourself, and wait for some jerk to call you back. -- Anon

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, “Where have I gone wrong?” Then a voice says to me, “This is going to take more than one night." –- Charlie Brown

Project Management is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies. — Groucho H. Marx

I'm no leader. I do what I have to do - sometimes people come with me. -- Edgar Friendly, Demolition Man, 1993

I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible. I saw this guy do it once in Cirque du Soleil. It was magical! -- Stephen Colbert

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. -- Mark Twain

Try to relax and enjoy the crisis. -- Ashleigh Brilliant

Only after you get sucked in do they whip out the crazy. –- Anon

The more rules the more offenders. -- Thomas H. Fuller, "Gnomologia," 1732

I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up. -- Tom Lehrer

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. –- firstscience.com

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets. -- Dave Edison

Men have become the tools of their tools. -- Henry David Thoreau

It doesn't really matter whether you grip the arms of the dentist's chair or let your hands lie in your lap. The drill drills on. -- CS Lewis, "A Grief Observed"

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate. -- Thorton Wilder

Just the facts, ma’am -- Sgt. Friday

The bearer of bad news must not be punished … the hider of mistakes may be [scolded] with impunity. -- Meredith and Mantel

My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating. -- Ashleigh Brilliant

Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. -- Henry David Thoreau

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel. -- Homer Simpson

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place. -- H.L. Mencken (1880-1956)

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation. -- Saki, "The Square Egg"

A good solution applied with vigor now is better than a perfect solution applied ten minutes later. -- General George S. Patton

I don't want to hurt anybody, I don't enjoy hurting anybody. But sometimes people just won’t listen, and so I have to use persuasion and power point slides. -- Debbie, Addams Family Values (1993)

There have been many who, not knowing how to mingle the useful and the pleasing in the right proportions, have had all their toil and pains for nothing . -- Cervantes (Don Quixote)

Currently it rotates completely on its axis once every 24 hours. To complete this project, you'll need to spin it fast enough to perform a complete rotation once every 84 minutes. Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own set of laws. -- Douglas H. Adams

For much of Project Management, the shortest path between two points doesn't exist. -- Kevin H. Poulsen

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Attempt easy tasks as if they were difficult, and difficult as if they were easy; in the one case that confidence may not fall asleep, in the other that it may not be dismayed. -- Baltasar Gracian

Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen. -- Ambrose Bierce

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