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Never face facts; if you do, you'll never get up in the morning. -- Marlo Thomas (That Girl)

If we're free to do what we want, why does our Project Manager always have a plan for us? -- P. H. O'Rourke

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? -- George Carlin

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away. -- Philip K. Dick

It's like my dad always said, "When you got nothing special, you got nothing special to lose." -- Oswald (The Drew Carey Show)

Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way. -- Homer J. Simpson

Oh, you hate your manager? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. -- Drew H. Carey

There ain't no rules around here. We're trying to accomplish something. -- Thomas Edison

Do not assign me tasks -- Anon

All good work is done in defiance of management. -- Bob Woodward

No job too big; no fee too big! -- Dr. Peter Venkman, "Ghostbusters"

Must...defy...laws...of...physics... -- The Tick

"This suffering will yield us yet a pleasant tale to tell. -- Virgil

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. -- Pete Townshend, "Won't Get Fooled Again"

The more inept the company, the more numerous the rules. -- H. Tacitus

Doing a good job around here is like wetting your pants in a dark suit; you get a warm feeling, but nobody notices. -- Anon

Please excuse me from work yesterday due to a vision problem. I just couldn't see myself coming to work. -- Anon

There is no pleasure to be found in having nothing to do. The fun is in having lots to do and not doing it. -- John W. Raper

Only two things are infinite, the universe and executive stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. -- Albert H. Einstein

There's a time to be Daniel Boone, and there's a time to be a plumber. -- MacGyver

If I'm not back in five minutes... wait longer! -- Ace Ventura, Pet Detective

Please quit that job. If not for you then do it for me. Do it for Tiny Tim. The bubble boy, for Michael Jackson, for Hulk Hogan, for Bill Clinton, for Robin Hood, and for all the people that came and left before you. -- Mike "Eugene" Kubicki

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. -- Nathaniel Borenstein

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. no use being a damned fool about it. -- W. C. Fields

I learn by going where I have to go. -- Theodore Roethke

I am always doing what I cannot do yet, in order to learn how to do it -- Vincent Van Gogh

There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm. -- Willa Cather, "The Song of the Lark"

Things should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler. -- Albert Einstein

When spiders unite, they can tie down a lion. -- Ethiopian proverb

You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up. -- Morpheus, The Matrix

When the game is over, the king and the pawn go into the same box. -- Italian proverb

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